SELF CARE FOR THE TOUGH DAYS

Self care is an interesting concept, and something that I never really gave much thought to before my dad passed away. It's all too easy to get swept away with life and not give yourself any time to grieve or explore how you're really feeling. With the help of a University counsellor, I've realised how much I pushed my dad's death to the back of my mind when it happened. I made myself strong for other people, never let myself cry and took on more work than I could manage. Now I'm going through days where it's so hard to come to terms with what has happened, and all I want to do is stay in bed and not talk to anyone. I often feel worse than I did in the few days or months immediately after, and I know that special days will be even more difficult. 

Today is the first time in 22 years I haven't spent Father's Day with my dad, waking up early to make him a huge breakfast and then spent the rest of the day doing something as a family. Today I'm going to someone else's engagement, and I really don't want to go. It might sound selfish, but today my perfect day involves a hot bath, a good book and plenty of tea and talking to my uni friends. Here are some things you could do when you're having a tough day: 

Make time for yourself. Do something that you want to do, even if that thing is sitting in bed doing nothing. Do something that you used to enjoy, such as getting outside for a walk or having a pamper evening. Reading can provide a great escape into another world. 

Don't feel guilty for looking after yourself. There's no shame in having a bad day now and then; if giving yourself the time to grieve or get upset allows you to focus better when you're at work or in public then do it. 

Have perspective. This is personally one of the hardest things for me to do. I wrote this list of the things I'm grateful for, but I don't do this often enough. Although it feels like it sometimes, I haven't lost everything and I need to focus on all the good times I spent with my dad. 

Avoid harmful situations. I switched on the radio this morning and they were having a discussion about Father's Day. I know that social media is going to be full of people posting pictures of them with their dads, so I'm just going to stay away. Sometimes it's OK to do nothing but be by yourself and avoid the world. 

Live Well. Make some time to exercise, spend some time focusing on your skincare and up your vitamins and healthy eating. It's all too easy to order Domino's from your bed, but self-care is about looking after your mind and body, and eating junk constantly won't make you look or feel good. 

What are your tips for self care on the hardest of days?

7 comments:

  1. I'm sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how difficult this year has been for you.

    I suffer with the blues (I've stopped calling it depression, as I feel I have made massive steps forward), and my self care involves walking, painting and writing. Basically what you have said, exercise and make time to do something you enjoy :)

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  2. So sorry to hear about your loss :( You give fantastic advice though :) x

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  3. So sorry to hear that Nisha, wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I think I'm the same in the fact I normally push bad things to the back of my mind until it comes a point when I 'blow', so to speak. I find talking through things with my friends or mum normally helps get things off my chest and listening to classical music and meditating too :) x

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  4. So true, the easiest thing to do when dealing with loss is to push it to the back of your mind... For me, the best thing to do is get together with family, friends who will understand what you're going through. They'll laugh with you about the good times and cry a little tear with you on Fathers Day. Sending big hugs and love your way xxx

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  5. I send so many hugs Nisha. I'm sure he is looking down on you with a smile on his face today :) I love your self care tips, so perfect! I definitely agree with the avoid harmful situations. It really isn't worth the pain sometimes. Hugs x x x
    Miss Pond | Manchester Lifestyle Blog

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  6. Sending you all the love and hugs in the world! Losing someone you're close to is horrific, and there's nothing anyone says that can make it better, however spending the time looking after yourself is super important and those ideas you've suggested for self care are so good and definitely ones that I need to try myself, I never look after myself enough! xo
    LJLV | UK Personal Style

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  7. So much love Nisha, this is such a brave post and brought a tear to my eye. You're so right that it is important to look after yourself and care for yourself. I love the paragraph about keeping healthy, it is amazing how this can just keep you feeling refreshed. Lots of love, Sarah xxx

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